#my2sense- CAPACITY...   what is it and why is it important?

#my2sense  

By Julie Hansen  

CAPACITY...  

what is it and why is it important? 

Remember when your grandparents and parents walked to school barefoot, uphill (both  ways), in the snow? I do - I believe it too. Well, except for the barefoot part (because their feet  would have fallen off from frostbite). And the uphill both ways part because, well, that’s  impossible. I guess that leaves the truth. They walked to school in the snow. I know I did. We  really did. We walked to school in the dark (for Jr. High basketball practices in the winter) in the rain, in the snow, in the heat and in the cold all while carrying 18 pounds of Trapper Keepers and books in a drawstring bag. We had less than perfect conditions and learned how to press on.  

I think my generation was the last to do the aforementioned. My children lived a combination of old-school ways meets the school-permit trend for town kids, rides, carpooling with neighborhood parents and mopeds. Today, walkers are few. Kids having their own car at  14 is the norm and it doesn’t snow much anymore. I get it. Times have changed. Safety is an  issue that must be considered. In fact, the safety and well-being of our children is, or should  be, the most important aspect we consider in making our adult and parenting choices.  

Here’s where it gets a little tricky. We need to keep our children safe AND build their  capacity to handle things. To accept and learn accountability and responsibility. Instead, the  effort to keep them safe got married to making their lives easier, protected, without conflict and  difficulties. Although that sounds loving and thoughtful, it’s actually prohibited growth. We have diminished their capacity to navigate complicated or undesirable situations. Ask anyone in a school setting about the obstacles in their profession and they will tell you there is a lack of  emotional intellect or capacity to work through tough things. They haven’t been shown how and/or  haven’t been forced to sit with the natural consequences of their actions.  The forever gift we can hand our children is the gift of capacity. Because the question  has never been “if” they have a difficult season it is “when” they have a difficult season.  Practice these things with them while they are still under your care so when they encounter stumbling blocks in their adult life they are practiced and prepared not confused and paralyzed.  

Experiencing resistance isn’t defeat. Resistance is the flex. Capacity is the outcome. Muscles